survival mode has made me mute

I tend to gravitate towards news regarding socioeconomic and demographic subjects these days - topics that are really interesting to me. Culture, consumerism, citizenship, thoughts, actions, religion ... for those of you who read my blog (or at least used to read it before I went back to school and virtually barricaded myself in my room), you know these subjects intrigue me.

Although I am relatively young, I get a feeling that things use to be different. Now, I understand that nostalgia can be dangerous - there are some pretty ugly truths found in the past - but I still feel a sense of loss. Loss of values ... Loss of direction. Our culture no longer values things like saving, conserving, waiting, or sacrificing. I bring these up because they seem to plague my own behavior incessantly. I swear this rambling is going somewhere.

This is where the rambling is going: Another subject for another blog - "curbing my consumerism" or "sustainable living" (as in emotional, physical, spiritual, education, sustainability as well as the traditional sense of greening my life) - I will flesh these ideas out before the official start of the new year in order to take them on for better living in 2008.

I have been ill since Christmas Eve and coupled with the panic-feeling I have been living with since the beginning of Fall Term it has translated into a strange mood for me. I don't feel like blogging, sharing, reading, asking, or buying. I have been focused on picture hunting for my inspiration slideshow - think more design pictures like this, this, and this ... here are a few examples:

The transition of solid colors is pretty. The fun white chandelier looks great against the yellow.

Stripes and damask fabric (and my favorite free standing claw footed tub) = fabulous.

Check the square brick in the rounded fireplace ... love the contrast.

This is wallpaper on a fridge - love it.

I have also been doing lots of thinking ... thinking about self-improvement/reinvention/renovation/upgrade (whatever you want to call it) and how that can make me feel better. I have been hibernating, mostly trying to get better, but I think my sickness has just been a fortuitous event because I don't really want to be in the world right now ... what I mean is that I am evaluating and planning and not wanting to participate in real life just yet. It also helps (or doesn't depending on your point of view) that I have a dead-line for this behavior ... I have to jump back into life when I go back up to Oregon. Less than a week from today ... I need to start anew with me and with school. That is where the 2008 resolutions come in. More to be explored.