Tuesday, October 03, 2006

The Average Woman Falls in Love 7 Times a Year. Only 6 are with Shoes.

After a rebuke about not posting in "forever" I have decided to re-visit an idea I briefly introduced in my concert posting regarding people watching. But I want to be very specific right now, since the topic lends itself to a myriad of tangents.

I want to address two subjects and explore their adverse and converse affects on each other - the phenomenon of the attractive man seen on the metro ... and the foot ware he chooses.

Some of you may know that I have a thing for shoes. I love shoes ... they pretty much always fit (besides that silver pair that hurt my feet and I ended up trading them to a former roommate for a cute little red corner table - but that was a fluke). They can be worn to match your outfit and your mood and they show off my best feature (at least in my opinion) - my feet, which I know I know, is a really strange best feature because sooo many people just HATE FEET (case in point), but maybe they have just never seen my feet!

Anyway, shoes are just great. However, because shoes can be utilized to match the outfit and/or the mood of a woman, it is hard to tell exactly the type of woman she is by her shoes. Just because she is wearing some pointy black heal does not mean she doesn't own a pair of black Jack Purcell's or Chuck's in hot neon pink. Don't get me wrong, it can be done, but its hard to make a very accurate assessment by one encounter only - simply because the average woman has multiple pairs of shoes.

Men on the other hand - I would argue - do not own as many pairs of shoes and thus it is easier to tell the type of man by his shoes at first glance ... you know he only has - at most - 5 or 6 pairs at any given time at home. I am talking about first impressions on the metro here folks! Now I am aware that there is an upward moving trend in men's collecting of foot ware - especially for my generation as many "metro" men are getting into style and fashion and buying "outfits" - but I am really not talking about those guys. I am talking about your average man on the metro between the ages of, we'll say 20 and 35.

You see, I have this thing with checking out men's shoes ... and it can make or brake the assessment on the man. Sometimes I notice a semi-attractive man first and then take a nonchalant glance at the shoes. Other times I scan the floorboards of the train car and slyly survey the goods from the feet up.

So a man catches my eye, I usually like the tall dark and handsome type, and I sneak a peek at his feet ... often the shoes fit exactly what I expect to see and it makes me feel triumphant. Pegged him just like that. But sometimes I get a surprise - thrown for a loop if you will - a man that has potential to be attractive is wearing the worst shoes ever! Like running shoes when he's not running or even worse - sketchers athletic shoes (sorry to anyone that I may offend - sketchers casual shoes are ok ... but not the male sneakers ... ugh). You see, the shoe can help the man, but the man can seldom help the shoe. Sometimes the shoe makes an average man even more attractive - they show personality. But only a very confident man can make a bad shoe more attractive ... its a hard thing to do.

One example that happened a week or two ago on the metro - and then I will allow any and all to process this silly theory of mine. I am sitting on the train on a saturday I believe it was - which is important because saturday metro riders are usually riding for personal reasons, not business or work related and thus can reflect personal style through clothing chosen to be worn. So I casually scan the other side of the train while flipping through my ipod - Mae, Alicia Keys, RHCP, The Killers, Kanye West, Fiona Apple - and spot a scruffy (I LOVE scruffy) unassuming young man chatting with his friend. He's wearing jeans - not too tight, not too baggy and a simple t-shirt. And so I scan down to the floor for the final assessment ... this will make or break the deal (hahaha ... deal? what deal - like you will ever talk to him or even see him again! hahaha) and he is wearing the shoe I HATE the most. The shoe that looks as though it was meant for gardening or worse - a garden gnome! Little girls, little boys, men, women - tons of people wear them ... they come in every color imaginable. Who knows what material they are actually made of ... and I don't care if they are soooo comfortable ... I can let it go for a nurse or a doctor or little kids ... but come on! A grown man! Anyway, the offending foot ware I am referring to are CROCS. I look over and this hot man is wearing crocs ... THE DEVASTATION ... the sadness ... the disappointment. A waste of a good looking man ... but at least they were black - thank heavens they weren't green or purple or orange.

SIGH ... I am now thinking that this is all very shallow ... it must be derived from my OC upbringing, but I have an interesting point right?


Marigold said...

But you can wash crocs in the dishwasher...

number4of5 said...

I HATE the Croc. So bad, especially on men. A man's shoe does say sooo much about him. I like a man in a nice shoe. But, sometimes if the shoe is too nice, I worry. High maintenance is not always a fun thing.

Matt&Cherrie said...

oh beth, don't blame the OC for your shoe fetish. we're already blamed for too many other things. i think it's an east coast thing with shoes. nyc subways: the guys can look like crap, dress all bummy, but they always wear a nice pair of shoes. take a look next time you go. crocs are ugly though...i wouldn't put them on my kids or your brother.