I don't know what else to think but that something in the cosmos is trying to push my buttons ... or make me cry ... and I almost did last night (not that its really that hard to make me cry - but I must note that its been a good month or so since I cried for real). After a long tired week I was a bit grumpy. My consolation for working out everyday this week despite my tired and grumpiness was an hour of some good TV ... a season premiere to be exact ... the season premier of Grey's Anatomy. That is all I wanted. Nothing more. I just wanted to be lost in Seattle Grace Hosipital's halls for an hour ... then I would go to bed and come to work with a better attitude. But as I said at the start - this was not to be - the universe was (or is) consipiring against me.
You see, this is not the only event to make me think that the heavens are frowning upon me right now. Less than 5 days ago an equally sad event happened to me. I bought tickets to the Pete Yorn concert at the 930 club for Saturday night ... however the tickets arrived the following Monday. No Pete Yorn ... no strange condition ... no closet ... nothing. I spent two days on the phone with the U.S. Postal Service and a nice Ms. Griffin tried all she could to help me (tangent - Ms. Griffin sounded younger than me but insisted on being called Ms. Griffin ... that's one of the many great things about the "south" - its debated if DC is in this region for reals - but lots of the fabulous black women of this area insist on being called Ms. ... and who am I not to grant a fiesty woman's request - so I do as I am told!) But in the end my tickets were somewhere between Capitol Hill and U Street.
Not only was I thrilled to see the fabulous Pete Yorn - but I invited a friend to join me. Plans for that night went down hill as soon as the day began with no tickets in my hand. Moral of the story ... ladies - don't ever make plans like this (dinner, concert, all around good time), you only end up being dissapointed. Not only did I not see Pete Yorn - but I paid for the tickets and then did not get to see Pete Yorn. Devastating.
As if that wasn't all bad enough ... I got my cell phone bill yesterday. I NEVER NEVER NEVER go over my minutes. NEVER. Some how I managed to rack up a $150 bill! So the bad continues to overtake my life.
And now I am in a mood. A mood that makes me a little jaded and not as optimistic as I usually am. I have another concert this weekend - Red Hot Chilli Peppers, The Who, The Killers, Gnarlz Barkley, Keane, etc ... I no longer can have high expectations ... or any expectations for that matter. I just can't handle the dissappointment these days. At least not this week. And so I will go and expect nothing ... maybe it will be good.
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"If you never expect, then you are never disappointed." Is this true? Yes, but the outcome isn't desirable. You have to hope for the good.
There is an element of faith, hope and expectation in almost every action we perform. You expect your house to still be standing when you get up in the morning (at least I do) and you trust that the world is still functioning the same as it was when you went to bed. I think this is why we make "To Do" lists for the next day (or maybe that is only me) - you expect the next day to be there. And I can carry this a little further - not only do we expect the day to be there, but we expect something good to happen. So while expecting too much can leave us feeling disappointed and unfulfilled, never expecting leaves us with no desire to try and expect a positive outcome.
Point: Expect the day to be good because it is a new day, new chance to learn something. Don’t, however, have grandiose, unobtainable expectations – that is what will leave you disappointed. Remember – all the extra stuff is frosting on your favorite cake.
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