the thesis is done ... the wedding is on

it is official, ladies and (lets be honest ... only ladies read this blog) ... i am officially a master. sigh. it feels ... well cool ... but not as cool as i had hoped. the last five days before my thesis was due were horrible (to put it mildly) and tainted my experience a little bit. my thesis adviser out of the blue just told me (through another person - not even to my face) that my thesis just wasn't what he was hoping it was going to be - it just wasn't quite there. yup ... he said that to someone else who was suppose to tell me that. awesome - right?

sigh. needless to say i freaked out and told them it was not an option to stick around and spend the money and the time to re-write my thesis and that i didn't understand why this hadn't come up MONTHS ago. why was he dropping this bomb on me FIVE DAYS before it was due to the graduate school?

so the whole thing was anti-climatic because i basically said "you know its good enough ... just pass me and let me get on my way please!" ... the problem was that he and my reader and myself for that matter knew that i could have written a better thesis. i have the ability to do better. but the reality is this: i didn't have enough guidance, time, or money. that is the hard truth. there are real constraints in the real world and i experienced the cold reality of it.

i have come to terms with it. i decided long ago that i would never bleed for my academic or professional career. i would never let it define me or validate me. and i stuck to that - so that i am okay with and proud of myself for not letting this all get to me too much.

i think this healthy perspective directly correlates with my upcoming sealing in the newport beach temple on september 5th.

The Ring:

Speaking of which ... I know you ladies are all dying to see the ring ... so here it is! It was my grandmothers (on my mom's side) and I have always loved it. As a child I would hold my grandmothers hand and stare at it ... I always thought it was so beautiful. My grandfather came home one day over forty years ago and told my grandmother to go pick out a new ring since hers had broken or had been lost. My mom was a little girl at the time and remembers going to the jewelery store in Los Angeles with her.

A few years ago my grandmother passed away and my mom has been wearing this ring on her right hand ever since. Every time I am in town or hanging out with my mom for a few days I would always ask to wear it for the duration of my stay (on my right hand of course.) Then, when our visit was over my mom would ask for it back. I once asked her if she might consider letting me have it as my wedding ring ... if that was ever a possibility one day. She said I could if I wanted it.

But of course that was all said very casually ... so about a month ago I asked her if that was really a possibility and she said of course! I gave Nate the option of the ring, since I had already sufficiently scared him by telling him that I wanted a vintage ring. He had no idea how to go about finding and picking out such a thing. He also was very concerned that I was trying to make it easy on him by suggesting my grandmother's ring and said very seriously: "Bethany, this is a big deal. If you want a new ring, lets get you one. I don't want you to compromise on this because you are worried about the cost." So I looked just to make everyone (and myself) feel better. I tried rings on and was very overwhelmed by the shinny and overly crazy bling that is out there in the jewelery world. Nothing, not even simple diamond bands, seemed right or seemed to fit what I was looking for. Flat out I just didn't like any of the rings I saw. It made me feel better about the decision to wear my grandmother's ring. I know I will always be happy I picked this ring as my engagement/wedding ring.

We have considered adding to it, but every time we talk to a jeweler about it I get worried and don't feel good about it. Its unique and hard to add to without changing the look too much. Maybe one day we will ... but for now I am super happy with it!

Ring Details:

It is white gold with a center round cut diamond that is flush with the band and is almost a 1/2 carat. There are five "leaves" on each side that have little diamond chips in them. There are a total of 11 diamonds in the ring. We had it cleaned, resized, and almost all of the diamonds repointed (or basically the prongs that hold the diamond in were redone to make sure that everything is good to go for another 40+ years!)